


And I Can Fix Your Broken Parts

by masaringo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 06:23:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5655844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masaringo/pseuds/masaringo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally posted here for the Xingdaes Birthday Prompt Fest<br/>Prompt: Jongdae is a famous solo singer, and Yixing is a famous pianist. They’re put on a collab together, their managers not even realizing they’re huge fans of each other already. They should be really shy at first (it’s their celebrity crush lol) but really break the ice through music and fall in love through each other’s talents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Overture

**Author's Note:**

> To the prompter: Thank you so much for the lovely idea! We fell in love with it at first sight, and hope we were able to live up to your expectations. Also thanks to Jose and Flor for the song titles, and to my sister for her support in times of despair.  
> This was our first fic fest ever, and, despite the huge amount of stress we dealt with, it was really fun! Thank you so much to the mods for their help.  
> We'd love to hear what you think about it, so feel free to comment, and keep loving and supporting our boys.

Just a few more seconds. Removing one of his headphones, Jongdae braced himself for the upcoming high note. He closed his eyes, let the music surround him. And then... he failed.

He pushed himself away from the microphone, yanking his headphones off harshly and signaling for the man outside the cabin to stop recording. Fuck. He knew he'd fail. His throat had been pulling off things like that lately, and Jongdae was sick and tired of even thinking about it.

On the other side of the glass, he saw his manager enter the room, waving at him to come out. Jongdae sighed, dragging his feet towards where Kyungsoo was waiting for him.

"It's not my fault!" he defended even before the other man could utter a word.

Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"You didn't hear," he said, finally meeting his eyes.

"I was talking to Joonmyeon," Kyungsoo replied, looking at him pointedly.

Good. At least he didn't have to deal with his manager for now. He wasn't exactly in the mood to be nagged about things he couldn't control.

"Whatever. What's up?"

"There's a new project for you. Joonmyeon wants to talk to you about it."

"What? Now?"

"Yeah. Come on," and just like that Kyungsoo grabbed his arm, dragging him out of the room.

.oOo.

"A duet."

"Yes."

"With some guy from another company."

"We're planning a merge, and this kind of deal is just what we need to get the news out to the public," Joonmyeon explained calmly. Jongdae let out a frustrated sigh.

"This is not a good idea," he stated plainly.

"It'd be something new. A ballad, more fitting for your voice, don't you think?"

And there was that condescending tone again. Jongdae clenched his jaw, "I don't _do_ ballads," he sniffed, "I like rock."

"I know," a small, controlled smile, "It'd be just an album, I promise. And besides, you know your fans love your ballads!" Jongdae let out an unamused chuckle. Of course he'd say that. Joonmyeon's expression shifted, a more serious tone to it. "You don't have many options, you know."

"Can't someone else do this?"

"We'd rather have you."

Jongdae groaned, throwing his hands up in mocked resignation. "So _now_ you'd rather have me? Great."

Joonmyeon leveled him with a look, straightening in his chair behind the desk.

"We're not discussing personal affairs right now, Jongdae."

"Cut the crap, Joonmyeon."

"Okay, that's it," Kyungsoo interfered, holding Jongdae's arm and attempting to stop him from glaring daggers at his boss. "We're going to the other company now. Let’s go."

"What?! Now?" Jongdae jumped, a tiny bit of panic lacing his voice, "I can't sing now, Kyungsoo," he mumbled.

"You won't have to," Joonmyeon reassured him, "You're just going to meet your partner. That's it." He looked back at him, a look very much like pity in his eyes, "Hasn't your throat gotten any better?"

"I'll wait for you at the car, Kyungsoo," Jongdae stated as he stood up, making his way to the door before leaving without another word.

.oOo.

"That wasn't very nice of you," Kyungsoo commented as he settled on the driver's seat.

Jongdae huffed, continuing to stare out of the window. He was sick of this, of having to behave properly, of having to pretend in front of everyone, even Kyungsoo. He was always on the run. Another concert, another album, another doctor's appointment. Another speech about taking care of himself, focusing on his work, "doing it for the fans".

His mind followed a couple walking on the sidewalk absently. Sometimes he didn't remember why he'd decided to get into the music business. He loved the thrill of performing, the sensation of drowning in his music and his name being claimed. But then he was alone again, in another nameless hotel, packing to run somewhere else.

After not getting a response for several moments, Kyungsoo sighed in resignation.

"I don't get what's wrong with you lately."

"Nothing's wrong with me."

"Is this because of the Joonmyeon thing?" Kyungsoo asked casually, shaking his head when he got only silence as an affirmative, "It's not that I want to rub it at your face, but I told you so. You shouldn't have mixed your feelings with your career, nothing good comes from it."

"It's not like I meant to."

"I know. But you should be focusing on getting your throat better. As your manager, it's my duty to remind you that your last album hasn't sold nearly as many copies as we were hoping for, and we can't afford delaying your next comeback. Your fans have been waiting for long, Jongdae, and you know..."

"I already fucking know!" Jongdae finally snapped, feeling suddenly trapped in his own life, nothing to do about it. Ignoring Kyungsoo's piercing stare, he put on his headphones, searching for his most played playlist, "Anger", and willing himself to get lost in music. Again.

.oOo.

He'd gotten pretty good in tuning out conversations he didn't care about. The endless chatter between Kyungsoo and the director of this company was now nothing more than an annoying buzz on the back of his mind, background music for his thoughts. He glanced over this director, a guy with chubby cheeks and pretty eyes that looked way too young to be the head of one of the top entertainment companies in the country. Just like Joonmyeon. Not like he cared. He just needed a way out, somewhere to be alone with his music.

With a polite comment, he excused himself to go find a restroom, being promptly ignored by the two men. He left as quietly as possible, intending to lock himself up in the first restroom he came across and staying there until he had at least fifteen missed calls from Kyungsoo.

He wandered around long corridors and identical conference rooms. Climbed up and down several sets of stairs. Wandered again. And then finally admitted to himself that he was fucking lost in this huge building. But it wasn't his fault, really. The idiot who hadn't thought about signaling where the freaking restrooms were was the one to blame.

The idea of asking someone for help was immediately discarded in favor of just sitting where he was and waiting for Kyungsoo to come find him. Much more reasonable than making a fool of himself.

He was adjusting his headphones, thumb hovering over the music player, when he heard it. A melody. Each note piercing through his soul, picking at his very core. Breaking him apart and putting him together once again, piece by piece, note by note. He was drowning, the feeling behind every note weighting him down. He knew every note to the melody, every up and down, every change in the rhythm. And yet, he was positive he'd never heard it before. But the style felt so familiar. Like coming home. It just wasn't the right song. Jongdae blinked, dazedly realizing he'd been lost in thought for several minutes, mind reeling, trying to match the harmony. Shaking his head, he focused once again in his phone. He hadn't pressed play; at least he didn't remember doing so. And, indeed, the music wasn't coming from the device.

Taking off his headphones, he stood up, the now louder music pulling him towards a room by the end of the corridor. His body moved in autopilot, the melody doing the thinking for him, until he was in front of the door, hand in the doorknob. And then he stopped. He didn't want the melody to end. He opened the door just an inch, praying not to make any noises that could reveal his presence to the angel that was the source of the music.

And there he was. Slender, beautifully long fingers caressed the piano tiles, flowing with a simplicity so foreign to such a rich melody. From up close, its every single shade was perceivable, almost palpable. Breathtaking. It wasn't perfect. Its tiny failures were what made it beautiful, what revealed its humanity. The life behind it, the stories struggling to be told.

Jongdae was enraptured. He tore his eyes away from those fascinating hands, following the slightly muscular outline of the musician's arms, his back, his whole body moving in sync to the melody, pulling Jongdae to get closer, to touch, to feel. Almost hesitantly, his eyes scanned even higher, savoring the sharp features of the face he knew so well. The sight only confirmed what he already thought, what he didn't dare to hope.

It was him. Yixing.

How could he have been so stupid? Hadn't he been so stuck in his anger he would've noticed the company's name, would have recognized it as _his_ Yixing's. The pianist. Jongdae's favorite musician ever and his reason to even attempt to pursue a career in music. And he was _there_. He could push the door open, reach an arm out and... He put a hand over his mouth, a feeble try to settle his breath. It seemed plain out ironic to be within hearing range of his idol, the most influential person in his whole career-if not life-, and not being able to hear him because his heart was beating deafeningly loud.

Silence. The music had stopped. A look of contentment graced Yixing's expression. A shy smile. A dimple. And suddenly Jongdae's whole world, whole existence seemed to have narrowed to just another human being. Just the two of them.

Seconds seemed to drag to an eternity, a still gaping Jongdae in the doorway. Dazedly, he watched as Yixing stood up, angling himself towards the exit as he began to put away his notes.

The realization that, if Yixing had happened to raise his eyes from the papers he was holding, he would definitely had seen him in his not-quite-secure hiding spot, prompted Jongdae to get out before he embarrassed himself to the point of having to change name and move countries. As discreetly as possible, he began to walk backwards, too preoccupied in getting out of there as quickly and as efficiently as possible to care about where he was going.

Though, his brave attempt died as soon as his back bumped into an unexpected something. Or rather, an unexpected _someone._ A someone that was actually pretty muscular and had at least a couple of inches on Jongdae. He hadn't even flinched when Jongdae had run into him, stumbled forward and turned around with a shriek and a flail of limbs. Not one of his proudest moments. Jongdae was willing to apologize to the unknown guy he'd tripped into as he hadn't to anyone since his debut, but, luckily, the large puppy-looking man in front of him didn't look quite threatening. That someone just stood there, an amused, face-consuming grin directed at Jongdae as he stared down at him with a slightly maniacal expression.

"You shouldn't be nosing around here, you know," his unexpectedly deep voice shook Jongdae from where he was rooted on his spot, something quite like panic running through his veins. He was going to die. He was going to be murdered by a crazy guy who looked like cute animals and rainbows and happiness. Barely a few feet away from his ultimate life inspiration. They'd never find his body. Kyungsoo would _kill_ him for getting killed under his watch. His day couldn't get any worse. His possibly-future-murdered called back his attention, "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

Jongdae forgot how to speak. Breathe. Move. But he had to say something smart. Anything. "I... hm. I was just... you know... looking... bathroom?"

"Seriously? That's what you're gonna go for? You were looking for the _bathroom_? That's like the most cliché excuse ever. I'm disappointed," he sighed dramatically, hands coming up in mock resignation.

Jongdae's brain was torn between trying to find a really, really good comeback for that and being offended, and then he heard it. A bubbly laughter, prettier than any melody he'd ever heard. He snapped his head back to see the pianist, Yixing, standing by the door, dimpled smile in its entire splendor. And Jongdae wanted to crawl into a hole and die from embarrassment. He'd done exactly what he'd been avoiding all along: making a fool of himself in front of him. Although, annoyance was quick to cover his previous uneasiness. Yixing was laughing at _him_. No one laughed at fucking Kim Jongdae. His glare darted between the two men, exasperation growing at the matching amused smiles sent his way.

Raising his chin and puffing his chest as he spoke, he recited his well-practiced speech, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chen! International rock idol of the moment!" he stated proudly.

The tall guy in front of him stared down at him for a moment before bursting out laughing, the force of his cackles bending him over as he clapped his hands like an excited seal. Great. Another cute animal. Slightly offended and quite put off by his reaction, Jongdae turned towards Yixing, who was now blinking repeatedly, stunned. What the fuck was wrong with this people? How could they not know him? _Everyone_ knew him.

With an exasperated huff, he took out his phone, ready to call Kyungsoo to come and get him. His eyes widened, heartbeat erratic. 17 missed calls. He was in so much trouble.

Dismissing his previous argument, he turned around, beginning his search for his surely pissed off manager. Or at least he would've done so, had he not been captured by the ankle by that poor excuse of a giant. It seemed like the guy was actually out to kill him. Jongdae groaned at the impact. Fuck, polished ceramic floors weren't exactly soft for one to fall face first against and not end up in serious pain. His face already felt kinda sore, and he was sure it'd hurt like a bitch tomorrow. He _hated_ this guy.

"No no no. You're not going anywhere," he stated as he helped him up, laughter subsided but annoying grin still there. Jongdae attempted to shake the grip he had on his shoulder off, and was just about to let his anger take over and show the man what he was capable of, when the other went on speaking, "And of course I know who you are! You are my Xing-Xing's new music buddy!"

.oOo.

"Chanyeol here," Kyungsoo smiled politely to the crazy giant, now sat in front of him in the company's small buffet, Yixing by his side, "is Yixing's manager. He'll be your duet partner."

Jongdae couldn't bear to raise his eyes. Not only had he embarrassed himself in front of his future associates, he'd gone and completely ruined his and Yixing's first meeting. Forever. He'd never live this down.

"So we will be working together since tomorrow?" Yixing questioned tentatively. Jongdae raised his head just in time to see the excited glimpse in his eyes. It was not fair. Yixing got to be all cute a talented and have a dimple and a fucking _accent_. Jongdae held back a groan. He loved that accent. Not that it had been the first time he'd heard it, of course. Let’s just say he was a pretty dedicated supporter (he utterly refused to use the word _fan_. Kim Jongdae was nobody's fan) and had seen quite a lot of interviews and varieties where Yixing had appeared. It made the thought of being able to see him every day for months so much more surreal.

"Sure. Jongdae can start whenever you are ready," Kyungsoo smiled. It was frankly terrifying to see him smile so much. It wasn't usual that Jongdae was on the receiving end of such smiles, but even then it just meant he wouldn't like what was gonna come. Like, at all.

"Chanyeol, can I use one of my compositions?" Yixing pleaded, hope thick in his voice as he tugged on his manager's sleeve.

"I think that's kind of what Minseok wants," Chanyeol smiled back. And Jongdae would be in serious trouble if his heart threatened to burst like that every time Yixing gave one of his dimpled smiles and bounced excitedly. He promptly tore his eyes away from him. So much trouble.

"I believe we are done for today," Kyungsoo stood up, tugging Jongdae to his feet, "We are leaving now, but let's meet tomorrow to get things done," he bowed slightly and then began strolling to the door, leaving Jongdae to follow.

Without giving it much thought, he turned around and gave a ninety degrees bow. Well, that may have been a little bit over the top. Sneaking a glance at Yixing, he caught the boy's eyes just as another of his musical laughter left his delicate lips. Though, it was soon operated by the loud, slightly choking sound that made Chanyeol's cackles. And seriously, the guy had to learn how to laugh without looking like he was dying from asphyxiation. Quickly to straighten up, he turned to follow his annoyed looking manager, not before noticing Yixing returning his gesture. Just then Jongdae made plans to get his heart checked for all that abnormal behavior. As soon as possible.

.oOo.

He couldn't bring himself to push the door open. He was so excited for the day to come, for the person that he knew was behind the door. But he was also pretty reluctant to finally cross the door. It had become obvious the day before that Jongdae's brain and limbs didn't function properly when he was within ten feet from Yixing.

"What the fuck are you waiting for? We don't have all day," and with that Kyungsoo pushed him into the room, scowl appropriately replaced by a pleasant smile. Terrifying.

"You made it!" the crazy looking manager thing, Chanyeol, shouted. Really, didn't the guy have an interior voice?

"We were waiting for you," Yixing beamed, standing up from where they were apparently finishing a meal.

"I'm sorry. Were you eating?" Kyungsoo apologized.

Shaking his head slightly, the pianist offered Jongdae a bag of biscuits, which he accepted gratefully. Ignoring Kyungsoo's death glare, meant to remind him that he was on a strict diet since the whole Joonmyeon thing had made him put on weight, Jongdae ate as slowly and provocatively as possible. He tended to eat his feelings, and Kyungsoo ought to know there was no way in hell that he would reject anything the angel gave him. Ever. He'd have to deal with it.

"Oh," Yixing said, eyes wide as they judged their silent war, "I'm sorry! Are you dieting? No! And I just ruined everything," he looked seriously shaken, dimple nowhere to be found, and Jongdae had the ridiculous urge to wrap his arms around him and give him a cookie.

"No, no! Don't worry about it! It's just my manager that always nags too much, you know," he was quick to dismiss, shooting Kyungsoo the most accusing glare he could muster. Turning back to Yixing, he found his eyes already on him, and was quick to look away.

"Okay, okay, let's get over this," Kyungsoo muttered when silence settled between them, quick to pull a stack of papers out of his bag, "Let's begin with the schedule."

.oOo.

Yixing meant a lot to Jongdae. He'd heard about him for the first time nearly five years ago, when he was still in highschool and the idea of entering the music business hadn't even crossed his mind. He'd been taking after school Mandarin classes, which he thought were pretty much okay, but he was having a hard time getting used to the complicated, twisted sound of the syllables. His teacher had been quick to suggest music to improve his listening. Between the several artists he'd had to look up, one definitely stood up. An uprising star, a boy around his age, musical prodigy and master of several instruments, his favorite being the piano, and owner of the most breathtaking voice Jongdae had ever heard. That was the first time Jongdae fell in love with Zhang Yixing's voice. Not the last one, though. It was thanks to him that Jongdae began to consider getting into music professionally. And yet, here he was, after a lot of pain and hard work. He'd heard about Yixing being hired by another Korean company just after his debut, and being able to meet him, to know that he was just as good, if not much, much better in person, was like a dream came true.

Yixing was known to steal the heart of every single person who got to know him. Jongdae was no exception.

.oOo.

"But have you _seen_ him? His dimple is definitely the best part. No no wait. His voice. It's just like melted chocolate, but just sweeter and prettier and it kinda makes your heart clench, you know? But oh god what about his _fingers_ they are so fucking long and pretty and they can reach every single tile and they're so fast and pretty and it’s like looking at a car crash you know like you are waiting for something to happen but he just-"

"That's it!" Kyungsoo yelled, "I got it. He's perfect and you love him. Shut the fuck up! You haven't done anything but praise him since we got into the car. Fifteen fucking minutes. Yixing this Yixing that, just shut up!" he breathed heavily at the burst, hands clenching the steering wheel forcefully.

"If you keep yelling like that while driving you're gonna get us both killed," Jongdae frowned, slightly preoccupied.

The car came to a sudden stop in the middle of the street; Jongdae's body pulled forward as he clasped his seatbelt like his life depended on it. He turned towards Kyungsoo, blood freezing at his freaked out expression.

"No. Please no. Don't tell me you fucking fell for Zhang! What the fuck Jongdae?! Do you like the guy or not?!"

"You could've gotten us killed! What's wrong with you?!"

"Kim Jongdae answer my fucking question!"

Jongdae stared at him for a moment.

"Like him? Of course I like him. He's been my favorite singer since forever."

"You know that's not what I'm talking about," Kyungsoo sighed, running a hand through his shortish hair, "Yesterday. Just a day ago I told you not to mix your personal life with your career. And what do you do? Exactly that!"

"I'm not mixing anything! Why the hell are you still yelling at me?! I didn't even do anything," Jongdae huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kyungsoo rested his forehead against the steering wheel, letting out a frustrated groan, "Why? Why did I get stuck with a not only gay but also hormonal and horny teenager? Why me?"

"I'm not a teenager! Nor hormonal," he couldn't actually deny the other statements without blatantly lying.

"But really Jongdae, why? Why again? Wasn't Joonmyeon trouble enough?" Kyungsoo questioned, desperation seeping into his voice.

Well that was mean. "I don't like Yixing that way! He's just my sunbae and I respect him," he defended.

Kyungsoo shot him a disbelieving look, a surely sarcastic comeback on the tip of his tongue when the car behind him began honking. Turning his attention back to the front, Kyungsoo started the car, not without shooting his copilot a warning look. "This conversation is not over Kim Jongdae."

.oOo.


	2. Feel The Mood

Ballads should've been easy. Jongdae couldn't say he'd been excited when Joonmyeon had told him his assignment, not at all, but he wasn't expecting for it to be so fucking _hard_. A love story, lots of heartbreak, a terribly cliché phrase here and there, a simple melody. That was it. Only that, apparently, it wasn't. Yixing had practically laughed at his face (Jongdae had only let it go because oh god _his laughter_ ) when he'd told him to go ahead and write something pretty that they could sing.

"It's a process," he'd said "You have to feel what you write."

But the feeling thing wasn't happening. It was already their third day together, and neither him nor Yixing had managed to produce a single piece. Nothing. Nada. Jongdae was sick of being in the studio. Of course, having his ultimate life idol sitting on the piano right in front of his eyes helped, a lot, but they were both getting restless, and no amount of superficial chatter would dissipate the feeling of dread settled in the room.

He wanted this to work out. Not only he didn’t want to let Kyungsoo, Joonmyeon, and the whole fucking company down, but it was also _Yixing_ that he was talking about. He didn't want to be seen as a burden by the obviously more talented and experienced boy, someone who'd just put his name on the album without having anything to do with it. This was his chance to prove to himself and to the rest of the world that he did deserve the praises he got.

Jongdae lay on the floor, blank notebook by his side, begging any superior being he could remember to shower him with music composition superpowers. Yixing sat by the piano, cheek resting on his left hand as his right one roamed through the keys.

The random notes were nice, pretty even, but they didn't... click.

"Wait!" Jongdae scrambled to sit up, looking up to a very startled Yixing, "Do that again."

The pianist scrunched his face up in confusion for a moment, looking at him oddly before the meaning of those words dawned on him and he stared back at the piano, eyes caressing the tiles as he attempted to recall what he'd just played. Jongdae held his breath as the events unfolded in front of him, excitement and poorly repressed hope bubbling inside him.

And then Yixing put his hands back in the keys, playing that short succession of notes, not even a full five seconds, that had managed to sparkle Jongdae's imagination. Springing up to his feet, he approached the piano, the small smile gracing Yixing's face and indicator that he'd felt it, too. Jongdae tapped the lid of the piano to the rhythm, and smirked at how his feeble imitation of the newfound melody felt just right. Yixing smiled up at him, and, as his heartbeat became a little bit uneven, Jongdae realized that he had to try to make this right, if only to keep that smile on the pianist's face.

It wasn't much, but it was a beginning. Their beginning.

.oOo.


	3. Happy Accidents

"Do you drink?" Jongdae asked as he closed his notebook, getting up from the small couch he'd claimed as his and stretching his arms. Yixing looked back at him with droopy eyes, nodding as he held back a yawn. "Good. We're going out."

It was way past midnight of a stiff Tuesday night, and they'd been working for hours. They were doing a great progress, really, but Jongdae couldn't take another minute staring at the same boring blank walls. He got easily bored, sue him. Besides, judging by the amount of yawns that he'd had to suppress, the pianist needed a rest too. Grabbing his jacket, more out of habit than necessity, he stared expectantly back at Yixing, who got up stumblingly before making his way out of the door.

Jongdae was probably way more excited that what he should. For one, ‘going out’ was never that easy when idols were involved. Kyungsoo had quitted trying to stop him from doing so long ago, settling for a fair share of warnings about keeping it low and taking care of his public image. But now the streets were empty and Kyungsoo was out of sight. It was the perfect time. Moreover, Yixing was walking beside him. Despite all the time they'd spent together, they hadn't really talked outside the studio, at least not without their managers wandering around. After his first terrible impression, Chanyeol turned out to be a really cool guy. Kinda weird, yes, but he seemed to really care about Yixing, constantly reminding him of having fun and encouraging his relationship with Jongdae. Kyungsoo, on the other side, was a whole other issue. Since their conversation in the car, Jongdae had been able to successfully avoid any further comments on the topic, but that hadn't stopped Kyungsoo from watching him like a hawk every time the four of them were together, downright glaring at him every time he approached Yixing more than what his manager considered "strictly professional". Jongdae's life was hard.

It didn't take long for them to reach their destination. Specifically chosen for its complete lack of idol-like glamour and popularity, Jongdae had made of the dim, reduced bar one of his sacred places. He kept his eyes fixed on Yixing's expression as they entered the bar. Surprise, amusement and quiet acceptance shone through his eyes before he, once again, saw that beautiful dimpled smile of his. Letting out a sight he didn't know he was holding, Jongdae made a beeline to his favorite spot by the bar, realizing distractedly that it'd be the first time he wasn't there alone.

Jongin, the bartender, smiled up at him as he sat, raising his eyebrows with a low chuckle when Yixing appeared behind him. Okay, let's just say that Jongdae may or may not have mentioned the boy to him once. Or twice. Whatever.

They settled for plain beer and chips, to worn out for anything fancy. It was nice, Jongdae thought. Being outside of the studio, a familiar silence between them, the distant clatter of glasses on the other side of the bar.

"You know, Jongdae-ssi" Yixing began as he put his beer down, turning slightly to face him, and Jongdae barely repressed the joy of hearing his name on the pianist's lips. It had taken quite a lot of reassurance that he wouldn't feel disrespected just to get the boy to stop calling him his stage name, "I listened to your songs the other night."

"Y-you did?"

"Mhm"

"What... What did you think about them, hyung?"

He watched as Yixing pursed his lips from the corner of his eyes, unable to fully face him as he waited for the verdict. That was it. The moment he's waited for his whole life. Yixing had heard his music and he didn't even know how to feel about it. Was he excited? Nervous? The only thing Jongdae was a hundred percent sure about was that the silence had dragged for way too long for it to be something good.

"Well," Jongdae tightened his grip in his beer, forcing himself to focus on how the condensed droplets ran down its body instead and keeping his expression neutral, "they were really great!" Yixing exclaimed with a full smile that distracted Jongdae from fully registering what the other meant. "I'm really envious of your voice," the pianist added with a sheepish smile at the sight of a very confused, very speechless Jongdae who was struggling just to keep himself from falling from his stall.

"But hyung! Your voice is so so much better!" He spluttered, voice a couple of octaves higher than intended. Yixing's eyes widened in surprise before his face turned a crimson shade and he looked down at his beer. Jongdae had finally managed to ruin everything. Great.

Now awkward silence fell upon them, Jongdae mentally cursing himself for being so fucking obvious while attempting to form a coherent apology without even knowing his mistake, he cleared his throat, just in time to hear Yixing mutter.

"Thanks. It's quite a compliment coming from you."

"You're not mad?" Jongdae questioned as he watched the man's face return to its usual color.

"No?" Yixing frowned "Why would- Oh. You mean...? Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm not really good taking compliments. Yeol says I have to work on it."

A relieved chuckle left Jongdae's lips as he shook his head. "You should. You're really good and people are going to tell you so."

A beer had become two, and then three. It wasn't nearly as much as he was used to drink, and he wasn't exactly lightweight either, but just now Jongdae began to notice its effect on him, the pleasant, warm buzz beneath his skin, the sensation of everything being a little brighter, especially with an equally buzzed Yixing right beside him. Smiling up at him, the open look on the man's face dragged his following words out of him, "Seeing as I have already embarrassed myself in every possible way, I have a confession too."

Yixing perked up at his words, staring at him expectantly, and Jongdae lost the sudden bravery that had filled him, shaking himself from the drowsy feeling that had taken control over him for a moment. There was no way he could finish that sentence now. But he couldn't back out, not with that look on Yixing's face.

"I already knew who you were. You know, before being officially introduced," he shot a quick glance at Yixing before turning back to the front, "Actually, I have followed you since forever. You kinda... Were my inspiration to get into the business?" Oh god that had sounded so... Cliché. He wanted to die in that exact moment just to avoid looking at Yixing ever again. Though, the quiet laughter that followed made him reconsider his wish.

"Really?" Jongdae nodded morosely, and Yixing's chuckled only grew louder, "Oh! So you're my fanboy!" His dimpled smile dragged Jongdae back to his bliss, heart beating a little bit louder, everything a little bit happier.

"I want to propose a toast," Yixing exclaimed, apparently drunker than what he'd believed, "To my most loyal fan, sitting right beside me!"

A couple of rounds later, Jongdae found Yixing's arm wrapped around his neck, skin warm as flushed.

The boy leaned into him, his eyes glistening with alcohol and mischief, "You know," he said, voice barely above a whisper, "Yesterday. When I was listening to your songs. Your voice is so pretty. It made me want to write a song for it. Or three. So so pretty," a shadow crossed his eyes momentarily, "Wasn't going to tell you about it," just like that his smile was back on his face, "But you told me a secret too! So it's okay. You have an undying love for me, you are my fan!" His giggle turned into a hiccup, and Jongdae distractedly thought that it was a really cute hiccup. How was that even possible?

There was a sudden weight at his side. Yixing had draped himself around him, embracing him in a too warm hug. Jongdae barely managed to steady himself, the alcohol and the conflicted state of his emotions making it hard to concentrate in something as banal as balance. He cradled the man in his arms, his words belatedly sinking in. A blush took over his face as he detached himself from him. "Hey! I never said anything about 'undying love for you'!"

Yixing smiled coyly, fingers coming to tangle in Jongdae's hair, clumsily removing it from his face. Jongdae was pretty sure his heart would stop any second now. "You didn't need to, ChenChen! You're my number one fan! You loooove me!" He yelled, giggling again.

Okay, that may have been enough fun for a night. Yixing was already way too drunk to be in public, and, being the only conscious enough to worry about it, it was Jongdae's duty to get them both out of there safely. And fast.

Holding Yixing by his waist, he managed to get him up and out of the bar fairly quickly, stopping only to pull up their hoods in case someone would recognize them. If there was one thing that Jongdae had to grudgingly admit, it was that Yixing was a very cute drunken person. He'd probably regret everything the following morning, but for now he was content with Yixing's warm weight against him, with his incessant and incoherent chatter about anything and everything.

And, as his breath tingled against his neck, Jongdae realized that maybe he did like Yixing _that_ way after all.

.oOo.


	4. Make It True

"Have you always wanted to make music?"

Yixing looked back at him from where they were going over the final touches of the song, "Ever since I was a child," he replied, lips breaking out into a full grin.

Jongdae remained silent. He'd been giving the matter too much thought lately, with all the general annoyance that had seemed to take over his life, besides his persistent inability to sing high notes. Everything had seemed overwhelming for as long as he could remember. And he was so tired.

"Do you still like it, though? Aren't you just... tired of this whole thing?"

The pianist shook his head, dimple still there, "I really love what I do. Can't imagine my life without music in it. What about you?"

He considered telling Yixing that yeah, the same applied to him. That he was utterly happy, living the dream. He just couldn't.

"I... I don't really..." he trailed off. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to say. That after all his hard work, he wasn't sure if this was what he wanted for his life? That he liked it most of the time, but lately he'd been having a horrible time? That he was wasting the opportunity many guys would've died for?

When he raised his eyes, Yixing was calmly studying him. He squirmed under his scrutiny, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"It's your life, you know," the man finally said, tone serious but gentle, "You should do something that makes you happy. Don't you think?"

"I am happy," Jongdae explained, sighing at how fake it sounded. "At least I thought I was. But this couple of months got me thinking if this was really what I wanted. And I don't know what to do about it."

"Just... think about it," Yixing shrugged, "Figure out what you want in life and start working towards it. You don't have to decide right now."

"Guess so," Jongdae mumbled, turning back to work.

“Is something wrong?” Yixing inquired, penetrating eyes looking right through him, “You can talk to me if you want, you know that, right?”

Jongdae nodded, a lump forming on his throat. He felt everything closing up on him, suffocating him. He couldn't shut up his thoughts, couldn't get out. And suddenly he couldn't breathe, every thought painfully black. He felt like crying and running and hiding for no reason, anxiety attack only subsiding when he felt a warm hand on his.

“Jongdae. Look at me,” Yixing said softly, pulling on his hand until he raised his eyes, “Breathe. We can do this. Just breathe.”

It took several minutes before Jongdae was calm enough to feel embarrassed of his behavior. He attempted a feeble smile at Yixing, who dismissed it with a smile of his own.

"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself, okay?" he said cheerfully, "You have your whole life ahead of you. For now, the songs can wait. Let's go. I'm craving ice cream."

Luckily, things had changed quite drastically after their night at the bar. Not only had their relationship gotten better, but also had their compositions. Yixing's additions to their repertory had lifted a huge weight off their shoulders, allowing them to focus on their upcoming performance. It wasn't easy, though. As much as Jongdae had loved to take his throat problems out of his mind for a couple of weeks, they were still there, and came back full force as soon as he even attempted a high note.

He'd decided to work on it privately, not wanting to worry Yixing without need nor to make a fool of himself. Though, it didn't take long for the man to realize that something was wrong, especially after their talk, questioning Jongdae about it until he'd reluctantly admitted his issue.

Yixing had leaned against the piano, lips pursed in concentration, and considered him for a couple of moments, before finally speaking up.

"Let me see."

"What?"

Yixing rolled his eyes, a smirk playing on his lips, "Just sing for me. Whatever you want."

With a bit of apprehension, Jongdae settled for one of his latest songs, the one he'd been trying to record before the duet deal came up. The song started fairly low, no problem about it. On the high note, though, his voice broke right on cue.

"It's wrong," Yixing commented when the melody died out, "Your breathing, I mean."

"I've been going to singing coaches for years. I think I'd know if my technique had been wrong all along," Jongdae scoffed.

"It's not wrong per se," the pianist rectified, "You're just putting too much pressure on your vocal cords instead of your diaphragm. Here," a moment later he had straightened himself from the piano, coming to stand in front of Jongdae. And really close. When Jongdae felt a hand over his stomach, he was sure he'd died. Or would soon, seeing as he wasn't breathing.

"Do that last part again," Yixing ordered, and it took Jongdae more than a couple of seconds to remember what he was talking about, and even more to remember how to actually _sing_. Albeit wobbly, he did pretty well, at least until he felt a light tap in his stomach and his concentration flew out of the window.

"See? There you got it," Yixing said with a smile and, upon reading his confusion, he explained "My hand is not moving. If you were breathing properly, you'd be trying to push the air lower, hence moving your stomach. Try again."

With a nod, Jongdae attempted the note once again. Surprisingly, Yixing's advice actually helped. It wasn't nearly as perfect, and his voice still broke, but at least it didn't hurt so bad, and he didn't have such a hard time keeping his tone even.

"Thanks," Jongdae smiled at Yixing after a moment, noticing exactly how close they were. There was a different look in Yixing's eyes, a new, darker one, which had Jongdae's breathing becoming erratic.

With a little hesitation, Yixing leaned down, capturing his lips in the softest of kisses. Jongdae gasped, body frozen in surprise and mind racing. He couldn't catch up. Did this mean that Yixing liked him? Oh god, Yixing was _kissing him_. That was enough to shake Jongdae out of his momentary stupor. He pressed himself further into the boy, hands coming to Yixing's chest as the pianist wrapped his around his waist. Jongdae felt that he was combusting, not enough oxygen in his lungs, but he couldn't care less. This was _Yixing_ he was kissing. He'd been pushing against his feelings for him way too long, and now they were all struggling to come out at once. He grabbed Yixing's shirt, pulling him closer, and Yixing smiled against his lips, tightening his hold on Jongdae.

The sound of the door being opened just outside of the studio made them jump apart, hearing Chanyeol's deep voice rumble through the walls. And really, if the guy wasn't so nice Jongdae would seriously hate him.

"We brought food!" he grinned as he entered the room, closely followed by Kyungsoo, who leveled Jongdae with a look before narrowing his eyes at him. Meanwhile, Chanyeol had begun setting an improvised table, grin falling slightly as he turned to a still frozen Yixing. "Are you feeling okay XingXing? You're really red."

Yixing's laughter echoed through the room, startling the managers, their confusion growing when Jongdae began snickering too.

"Yeah, I'm feeling fine. Really great."

.oOo.


	5. Interlude: Collision

His company was unnervingly empty, blazing Sunday sun filtering into air conditioned rooms. It had been quite long since Jongdae had set foot there. Yixing's (well, Minseok's) company had become their place, somewhere to create new memories, better ones.

It still awed Jongdae how much one could get attached to someone, how could two people go from being strangers to the most important person in the other's lives. The room felt too empty without Yixing's comforting presence, too silent. He thought he'd made the right decision practicing by himself, without the distraction that would be having Yixing there, especially when he could only think about kissing him since the night before, but now he just felt lonely. And kind of sleepy. He sighed. He wasn't getting anywhere.

The beeping of his cellphone was a much appreciated interruption, a grin breaking into his face as he glanced at the screen.

 

 ** _From: Xing_**  
_Are you busy rn?_

 ** _To: Xing_**  
_Not really  
Dying of boredom_

 ** _From: Xing_**  
_Great_  
I'm coming over  
Want something to eat?

 ** _To: Xing_**  
_Tteokbokki?_

 ** _From: Xing_**  
_What room?_

 ** _To: Xing_**  
_16_

 ** _From: Xing_**  
_Ok  
I'll be there soon_

With the prospect of seeing Yixing soon, Jongdae turned back to work, decided to make the most of that couple of minutes and then call the day off for good. He was finally seeing a progress in his high notes, despite barely having tried Yixing's advice for a day. Everything seemed to be falling into its right place. And Yixing was to thank.

The door opened with a creek, startling him and making him laugh softly, "I didn't think you were really _that_ close. Weren't you going..." He turned around, words dying in his mouth as he took in who was really standing by the door. "Joonmyeon?"

And he was, in fact, right there. Shoulders slouched and looking worn out, it was so unlike the Joonmyeon he'd known so well. He tried to recall the last time he'd seen him, that time when he'd told him about the duet. He'd seemed fine. Not that he would have known if he wasn't. It had been much longer since they'd really talked. Just about when Joonmyeon broke their thing. Was it even a thing? Having sex with someone who you really like, could see yourself falling in love with, expecting that someday he'd feel the same way about you? Having to pretend not being heartbroken when he tells you he found someone else, a woman, and that he loves her? Jongdae is not sure anymore.

"What's wrong? Why are you here?" he didn't mean to be so bold, but honestly, Joonmyeon had been avoiding him like he had the plague for months, and now, all of a sudden, he showed up while he practiced?

"I wanted to talk to you," Joonmyeon finally said, voice low. Jongdae felt that telling stir in his stomach, the one that he'd come to know so well in their short time together. Only that it wasn't welcomed now.

"I'm really busy. And Yixing'll be here any moment now."

Joonmyeon approached him until there was barely any distance between them, an openly lost look in his eyes that terrified Jongdae. Joonmyeon didn't let his emotions show. That was just not him.

"Do you hate me?"

"Hate you?" _I should_ , "No. I couldn't."

Joonmyeon leaned forward, embracing Jongdae, who froze in his place, too confused to even comfort the obviously distressed man. What was even going on? Since when had Joonmyeon needed to lean on him?

When he regained control of himself, he wrapped his arms around the man's waist, holding him. "What happened?"

"She left me," Joonmyeon murmured, lips ghosting over his neck, and Jongdae tensed at the words. He'd been waiting so long to hear them. He should be laughing, or at least feeling happy about it. Though, he could only feel pity. Pity for the man in front of him, left by someone he loved. He'd been there. He knew how much it hurt, the betrayal and the sensation of loss. And also pity for himself. For his past self. It had taken Joonmyeon to literally run into his arms for him to realize his feelings weren't there anymore. Sure, he still liked Joonmyeon, but the magnet-like attraction was gone. The love was gone. Too much damage had been made for them to go back to how things were.

Joonmyeon raised his head, frantic eyes switching between Jongdae's own and his mouth. Jongdae saw his intent, should have stopped him, said something, move, but it was already too late. Joonmyeon's lips were on his, and for once their sweetness didn't melt Jongdae. It was just kinda awkward and he should really really stop it. He didn't need to.

"Hey, they were out of tteokbokki, so I got some-" Jongdae's eyes widened at the sound of Yixing's voice, pulling himself out of Joonmyeon's grip to face an open mouthed Yixing by the door. "Sorry!" he said before turning around and closing the door behind himself.

"Shit," Jongdae cursed, looking between the door and Joonmyeon, "I'm sorry. Can't do this anymore."

Without waiting for an answer, Jongdae ran towards the door, yanking it open and jogging behind Yixing's retreating figure.

"Wait!" he said, placing a hand on his shoulder to turn him around. Yixing flinched as he turned, and Jongdae wanted to punch himself for putting that hurt look in his eyes, "Xing! What you saw there-"

"Don't worry about it. I should've knocked. I'm gonna go now. See you tomorrow," he said with a quivering smile, "And... sorry about yesterday. The kiss, I mean. I must've gotten it wrong. Didn't know you were with him."

He looked so, so hurt. Jongdae felt his heart sink to his stomach, suddenly feeling sick. No, this couldn't be happening. Not when things were finally going well. Not with Yixing.

"No! I'm not! Please, just-" he sat on the floor, back against the wall. He was so tired. He couldn't do this. He couldn't let Yixing go, "Let me explain."

It was moments later that the man sat by his side, avoiding his eyes, and brought his knees to his chest. Jongdae opened his mouth, unsure of how to begin. It was then that Joonmyeon left the room and sat eyes on them, raising an eyebrow at Jongdae.

"Uhm. Nice to meet you, Yixing. Jongdae. I'll... see you later, I guess?" he said, tone barely sheepish under the "son of the president of the company" façade. Jongdae shoot him a murderous glare as he left, turning to Yixing once the man was out of sight.

His fingers were tightly wrapped around his arms, knuckles pale, and his glassy eyes were set on the wall in front of them. And then he blinked, shaking his head slightly, and untangled his limbs.

"I should probably go," he said, voice hoarse. Clearing his throat, he made a move to stand up. Jongdae panicked, rushing forward to grab a hold of his wrist.

"Hear me out. Please."  
Yixing finally met his eye, settling back down with a nod. Jongdae let out a shaky breath.

"We're not together. Joonmyeon and I. We've known each other since before my debut, before his father left him the company," he swallowed, stealing a glance at an impassive Yixing, "We... were a thing about a year ago. It was a secret, as he couldn't risk people saying he was with an idol from his own company. We broke it off when he fell for a woman, and I haven't really talked to him since then. She broke up with him, and now he came looking for me. I swear I didn't know! I didn't even want to kiss him!" Jongdae finished rambling and drew a breath, feeling his heart pounding in his ears. Yixing was still motionless, and he was losing hope. "Xing? Say something. Please," he begged.

"Do you like him?" he said, voice barely audible.

Jongdae smiled a little, inching closer to where Yixing sat. "Nah. I used to, but not anymore. There's someone I really really like now, though."

Yixing turned to him at the words, expression considerably less grim, but not daring to be hopeful. Yet. Jongdae let out a chuckle, leaning forward to capture Yixing's lips. He felt the boy go still under his touch, before bringing his arms up to rest at his shoulders. Jongdae made a noise of contentment, tangling his fingers on Yixing's silky hair to pull him closer.

"It's you, just so you know," he said breathlessly the moment the pulled apart to catch their breaths.

Yixing chuckled, raising his eyebrows in feigned surprise, "I would've never guessed it," he joked, pulling Jongdae back to him to speak against his lips, "I really really like you too, then."

Their second kiss was even better than the first, soft and unhurried, filled with reassurance and emotion. Though, the distant sound of footsteps reminded them just where they were, sat in a very public hallway in the middle of Jongdae's company.

Jumping to his feet, Jongdae offered a hand to Yixing, "Come on. The floor is freezing."

Yixing shoot him a smile, dimple and everything, and Jongdae felt himself melt, seriously considering sitting back down. But then the man was by his side, twining their fingers together, and Jongdae realized that he had everything he could possibly need.

"Oh! I had bought food. Are you still hungry?" Yixing asked as they began walking out of the company. Jongdae couldn't help but laughing as he pressed his lips back to Yixing's.

.oOo.


	6. A Way For Us

It was hard to believe how Jongdae's life seemed to have set itself right in such a short period of time. Sure, he still sometimes got the crippling fear that he wasn't good enough, that he didn't want this for his life and that he would die alone and with a dozen of cats, but now he had someone to hold him every time, to tell him that everything was going to be okay, that he wasn't alone. And Yixing was just right for him. It was Jongdae's first time being in a relationship where he didn't feel pressured at all, but instead supported and cared by the other. Everyday things between them got better, and Jongdae couldn't help but feeling that he was living in some sort of romantic chick flick, where all he wanted to do was being with Yixing and holding his hand and staring into his eyes lovingly. And making out.

Everything was progressing getting better for Jongdae. The songs were done and checked, praised by the company and perfect for them. Yixing had such a way with words, making every line hold so much meaning, that it made Jongdae want to actually be able to sing them as well as he possibly could, so he'd been working on his throat, and could almost say that it was healed. Besides, Yixing was going to sing with him, and that alone was a huge encouragement.

That evening they'd finished the pre-recording for the album, long, exhausting hours of listening to incompetent producers were past them, and they could finally relax. At least for a while. Their debut as a duet would take place in a few days, dreaded costume and audio and setting testing ahead of them.

For now, though, Jongdae was intended to focus on Yixing and Yixing only, pressed against one of the walls of their studio, mouth on Jongdae's, with one his hands on his hair and the other gripping Jongdae's shirt by his waist. They'd gotten to the point where spending a whole day having to behave professionally around each other had become unbearable, and Jongdae would have made fun of them, hadn't he been kissing Yixing back desperately.

They were so caught up in the moment that they failed to notice the door being opened, at least until an "Oh my god!" scared them out of their minds, forcing them to separate and look over to a flailing Chanyeol, followed by a clearly unsurprised, very disgruntled Kyungsoo.

"Oh my god XingXing!" the giant exclaimed, the manic grin back on his face.

"You've already said that, Yeol," Yixing smiled sheepishly, fiddling slightly as he took in Kyungsoo's glare. Jongdae noticed too, reaching to take his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"But Xing! When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me? Is he your boyfriend? Do you like really like him?" Chanyeol shoot question after question, leaving no time for them to process. Yixing, used to his ramblings, waited patiently until the man ran out of oxygen and finally shut up.

"We got together about a week ago," Chanyeol made an attempt to speak up, but closed his mouth as it seemed the boy would continue, "We didn't tell you because you'd freak out. What you actually did, so we were right. And yes, we are boyfriends," he snapped his head to look at Jongdae, eyes wide and a little panicked, "We are boyfriends, right?"

"Yeah."

Yixing shot him a smile before turning back to Chanyeol, "And yes, I really like him. Is that it?"

Chanyeol strode forward, embracing Yixing so that his face was pressed against his chest, "I'm so so happy for you XingXing! I knew this music buddy thing would be good for you."

"Yeol. Can't breathe," Yixing attempted to say.

"Oh right. Sorry," Chanyeol let him go, ruffling his hair as he did.

At the sound of someone clearing his throat, the three of them turned to Kyungsoo, who looked quite threatening for someone his size. As usual.

"Yes. We're so happy to see you got together," he stated plainly, face showing anything but happiness, "But we need to clear some things up."

'Clear some things up' ended up being an hour long lecture. "You're not going to act like a couple in public. That means no holding each other's hand, not acting all lovey-dovey, not saying anything that may be interpreted like you are together, and don't even think about kissing each other. In fact, don't stand closer than two feet from the other," Jongdae had successfully managed to block out Kyungsoo's voice within the first ten seconds, but, when he felt Yixing's hand tightening its hold, he turned to the boy, who looked scarily pale, and caught a glimpse of an about to cry Chanyeol.

"That's it Kyungsoo. I think we got it," he spoke up, thumb rubbing soothing circles over his boyfriend's hand.

Kyungsoo stared at him, about to retort, when Chanyeol interfered, reminding him that they were in fact there to take their boys out for dinner, not to lecture them on their love life. Jongdae shut his eyes. That was it. Kyungsoo would kill Chanyeol and then he'd kill them both and he'd die without knowing what Yixing's favorite color was. When nothing happened, he pried an eye open, just to see Kyungsoo gathering their things together, a proud Chanyeol by his side. Yixing tugged his hand, looking as good as ever, and he stumbled to his feet, legs numb.

As they made their way towards the door, led by Kyungsoo, Chanyeol called Jongdae's name, motioning for him to stay behind. Once Yixing had left the room, he turned to Jongdae, expression stern for the first time.

"If you even _think_ about hurting him, I'll kill you. Understood?" His expression was supposed to be frightening, but Jongdae couldn't help to think that it was endearing. He knew that deep inside Kyungsoo cared about him, but not even as close as Chanyeol's affection for Yixing.

He nodded, staring up at Chanyeol, "Don't worry about it. I'm not planning to let him go."

.oOo.


	7. Whatever You Do

"Isn't Chanyeol supposed to be at home?" Jongdae asked as he walked through the doorway and into the little apartment. It was just like the place he'd imagine the man living in, warm and comfortable, homey.

A snort guided him towards the kitchen, where his boyfriend was rummaging through the fridge, "Chanyeol lives here only on paper. You know, he's not supposed to leave me all by myself, but he trusts me enough to live on my own. Most of the time, save for when we have to get up really early to go somewhere, he lives with his boyfriend. Baekhyun or something. He's nice," he'd moved to the cabinets, proceeding to search there too.

Jongdae nodded from where he had sat on the counter, amusedly watching him come and go. Getting back on his feet, he approached the boy, hugging him from the back and pecking his cheek before nuzzling his face in the crook of his neck, "What are you doing?"

Yixing sighed, placing his hands above Jongdae's around his waist, "Looking for something for us to eat. But I haven't gone grocery shopping in ages and there's nothing even remotely useful for cooking. Should we get pizza delivered?"

Untangling himself from the boy just enough to turn him around, Jongdae chuckled, placing a fleeting kiss on Yixing's lips, "I don't really care about what we eat. I came here to be with you, not for food. But pizza sounds great."

Without separating himself from Jongdae, Yixing reached for his phone, ordering way more pizza than they were probably supposed to eat. But, taking into account that Jongdae shouldn't even be there in the first place, it didn't seem so much of a crime. He had, in fact, been explicitly prohibited of doing something stupid the night before their big debut, and he was pretty sure that doing things like eating junk food and spending the night making out and watching movies with Yixing was considered something stupid in Kyungsoo's terms. Not that he cared, though.

Jongdae had lived by himself most of his life. As soon as he'd made up his mind about wanting to be an artist, he'd left his childhood town to move to the city. He had never regretted it. He liked being alone, liked the stillness, the silence. The fact that there was nobody there to impress. But now, sat in Yixing's small couch, the boy pressed against his side and a bowl of pre-dinner popcorn in their laps, he thought that, maybe, he wouldn't mind living with Yixing.

Pizza didn't take long to arrive, its cheesy, greasy taste heaven to Jongdae's permanently dieting stomach. He'd already eaten in less than ten minutes his weekly allowance, not that he cared. Yixing, on the other side, savored every bite, chewing slowly, and Jongdae couldn't take his eyes away from him. Seriously, he even liked the way the boy ate. That couldn't be normal.

That had been the best dinner he'd had in months. By far. He hadn't had such a good time in ages, nor hadn't he felt so full. By the time they had settled in front of the TV for some crappy movie Jongin had mentioned their last time at the bar, Jongdae could already feel himself drifting off, Yixing's warmth lulling him to sleep.

He hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep until he felt Yixing's fingers through his hair, calling his name softly.

"We should go to bed. We're worn out and tomorrow is a pretty big day," he said, helping him to a stand.

Jongdae nodded, still half asleep, and made his way to the bathroom down the hall, getting hold of his toothbrush on the way.

He changed into sleeping clothes and sat on the bed, feeling much more awake than barely ten minutes before. Yixing came into the room in an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants, looking really tiny and tired. He sat by Jongdae's side, automatically reaching for his hand. Jongdae leaned into him, placing his head on his shoulder before turning his face upwards, reaching for his lips. It was sloppy, both too tired for it to have any rhythm, but it was perfect. Jongdae lay down, pulling Yixing with him and tucking his head below the boy's chin.

"Xing?"

"Hm?"

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"No. You'll be up there with me, won't you?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I will."

And like that Jongdae let himself go, drifting to sleep, lulled by the steady sound of Yixing's breathing.

.oOo.


	8. One Last Minute

Jongdae really _hated_ debut stages. Unlike his usual performances, where only his fans would pay to go and see him, they were filled with people ready to jump at him at his tiniest mistake. It was nerve wracking, and something he'd usually want to get through as quickly as possible.

The day had started in the only way a crappy day could: Kyungsoo. Of course, he'd outdone himself this time, and it really hadn't been pretty at all when he'd bursted into Yixing's room that morning, having miraculously obtained the key to the apartment, and yanked their covers away. After a twenty minutes long rant about why it wasn't a wise idea to stay up for most of the night before such an important presentation, he'd ushered them back to the bedroom, giving them a good ten minutes before dragging them out of the apartment and into their car, where Chanyeol was waiting for them with a much more uplifting attitude, and, most importantly, breakfast.

The ride towards the studio had been fine, Chanyeol providing constantly commentary about everything and Yixing playing with his fingers. It all ended as soon as they stepped out of the car, though, a multitude of young girls screeching their names. How the hell had they managed to wake up at that ungodly hour just to go and see them? Jongdae was barely awake himself and was supposed to be on stage for prerecording in less than two hours. Great.

Kyungsoo took the lead towards the studio, followed closely by Yixing, who was waving at fans and trying to take some of their letters for him. He was just so nice all the time. And shit, Jongdae was already staring at him lovingly in public and they hadn't been outside for ten seconds. He'd have to work on it.

From then on, he was barely able to see his boyfriend. He was dragged through hair and makeup, hands constantly working on him for what seemed hours, before being put into some tightly fitted clothes he wasn't sure he could walk in, and then paroled around the studio, smiling for people whose names he couldn't remember even as they talked to him.

He remembers catching a glimpse of Kyungsoo, standing besides Jongin, and dazedly thinking that they really made a nice couple. Kyungsoo was even smiling at the taller boy. And Kyungsoo never smiled. Weird. It’d be nice if his manager got a life of his own and stopped making his harder. However, now, with an unknown woman in both his sides and being handled a bunch of things he had to take care of until he was onstage, he could really use a hand from his manager.

And then, stillness. Like the calm before a storm. Jongdae was backstage, Yixing nowhere to be seen, and he wasn't feeling well. What if nobody liked their ballad? What if his voice cracked in the middle of the song, ruining everything forever? What if he forgot the lyrics? He'd never sung something so complicated, that could really happen. His heartbeat was deafening, the stage lights blinding him as he waited for the group before them to finish their performance. He wasn't ready for this. Not without Yixing.

"Are you okay?" he jumped at the question, every suffocating thought melted down at the sight of Yixing approaching him.

"Really nervous. Where have you been?" he questioned, lacing their fingers and keeping them out of sight.

Yixing grimaced, shaking his head, "They had me testing the piano. And then worked on my hair for over an hour. It was a nightmare."

Jongdae chuckled, voice still shaky as he heard the roaring in the public, indicating their turn was almost up. He swallowed, tightening his hold on Yixing's hand as their names were announced.

"Are you ready?" Yixing said, and, when he looked back at him, Jongdae thought that, with him by his side, he was ready for everything.

"Yeah. Ready. Let's go."


End file.
